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DO YOU LIKE NATURE? PROVE IT…STOP LANDSCAPING LIKE A BOOMER AND GET RID OF YOUR LAWN AND YOUR ROUNDUP

I went into Home Depot the other day (because I’m given no other choice) and I saw an older gentleman staring at a massive floor to ceiling display of nothing but RoundUp weed killer. He grabbed a bottle off the shelf… I became possessed and approached him…”Good sir, whatever do you need that most toxic chemical for?” “For the weeds in my grass,” the man replied with a sweet smile. “But sir it’s 2024, are you not aware how terrible this chemical is for the environment as well as for us humans? Who cares if your lawn has weeds…you should get rid of your lawn.” He looked at me as if I asked him to commit a crime….”I don’t care,” he said, scowling, and walked away. “You’re a selfish idiot, sir!” I yelled. He turned back, “fuck you!” And that was that…another successful conversion. I wonder if he pretends I’m the weed sticking up from the grass when he sprays…”

I don’t understand how people are buying this shit in present day. I understand how it’s still being sold (we live in a capitalist hellhole). Who gives a fuck about weeds in 2024? Is there an HOA weed inspector? If so, simply burn down their home (nobody reads this blog, don’t worry).

Lawns aren’t cool. Lawns aren’t good for the environment. Lawns aren’t going to get you laid. Please get rid of your lawn or at least stop using chemicals that kill literally everything. Nature is where joy can be found. Nature is the natural cure for depression, so don’t spray fucking RoundUp on it! Do not install fake grass as an alternative. It’s disgusting and the PLASTIC it is made of eventually breaks down an leeches into our groundwater. Stop using anything toxic for god’s sake.

Roundup is the reason why the Monarch butterflies are about to go extinct! I provide a safe space for them and yield about 50 every year but nobody else seems to give a shit. I also provide water for hundreds of bees everyday and other wildlife like skunks and opossums. I would love to do the same for you if you’d let me. It’s such a fun way to bond with your kids and make sure they grow up to be nature loving aka good people as opposed to someone like Elon Musk who has all the money and instead of doing something good with it he fires rockets off into space.

Roundup weed killers have been banned in:

  • The Netherlands

  • France

  • Bermuda

  • Columbia

  • Sri Lanka

  • And recently, in Vietnam

America is basically bought and paid for by Monsanto, a company so evil they make the laws. Thankfully social media is making it harder to ignore the damage Roundup is doing to the planet and people. Check out this story “Jury Awards Terminally Ill Man $289 Million In Lawsuit Against Monsanto.” At 42, Dewayne Johnson developed a bad rash that was eventually diagnosed as non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Four years later Johnson — now near death, according to his doctors — has been awarded a staggering sum of $289 million dollars in damages in a case against agricultural giant Monsanto.

The former school groundskeeper sued the company, arguing that an herbicide in the weed killer Roundup, likely caused the disease. His lawyers also contended Monsanto failed to warn consumers about the alleged risk from their product.

On Friday, a San Francisco jury agreed. They deliberated for three days before awarding Johnson $250 million in punitive damages and $39 million in compensatory damages.

I suggest turning your yard into something that isn’t a lawn, something that you can work on and enjoy, like building a pond, vegetable garden, or grow a cut flower garden so you can have fresh cut flowers in your home all year round whilst also feeding pollinators like birds and bees, which humanities survival depends on.

There are sooooo many articles about how gardening cures depression. I hate to think how much money academics were paid to figure that out…or how much the dumb lizard brains were paid to conclude that taking a baby monkey away from it’s mother and raising it in captivity does irrevocable damage. Oh, you want to see what happens if you cut someones eyelids off….Now, what exactly did your studies conclude? Nature and the elements make us happy: earth, air, fire, water…animals, birds, insects. Do you know how much joy I get watching dragonflies skim a pond? Watching birds bathe? Watching bees drink from my fountains? Knowing that I had something to do with some vat of honey that is being produced out there…the answer is a lot. Like Martha Stewart says in the new documentary I have yet to see…“if you want to be happy for a year, get married. If you want to be happy for a decade, get a dog. If you want to be happy for a lifetime, get a garden.”

Now let’s try to enjoy the rest of our day and look at some landscaping grass conversions

xo

Lisa